| There are moments in our past that shape our vision. | | | | when I peered more closely over her shoulder, I |
| Going through my childhood photo albums, I catch a | | | | noticed that it was the blotter that was absorbing |
| glimpse of Anna in the early grades, a quiet girl who, | | | | her interest. She had dribbled a spot on the top |
| if she were still alive, does not know how even in | | | | right-hand corner of the sheet; she stuck the nib in |
| grade 4, she was pointing the way to freedom of | | | | the center of the spot and watched the darkness |
| expression. There is a lesson here that comes in | | | | grow; a few details with the nib and the blotch |
| handy for parents and grandparents. | | | | became a piece of chocolate, its center dissolving |
| I have often wondered if Anna's life might have | | | | into a hole. Fascinated, I watched her work more |
| taken a different turn had she lived her early grades | | | | blotches on the absorbent paper and more dabs until |
| in the sixties when the ballpoint pen, replacing the | | | | the entire blotter turned into a kind of chocolate |
| fountain pen, dispensed with the use of ink blotters in | | | | swiss-cheese. |
| school. Children of the fifties, we learnt writing the | | | | Out of her desk came more blotter sheets. Instead |
| hard way--with steel-nibbed pens which we dipped in | | | | of holes, she made lines this time, dark molasses lines |
| ink pots and which invariably turned the writing | | | | dribbled and dripped almost spider fashion from one |
| experience into a mud-bath. It took us months to | | | | corner to the next; she paused just long enough to |
| learn the art of compromise: speed meant accidental | | | | thicken the middle stretch without breaking the flow |
| globs and splotches; if you really wanted to save | | | | until the entire sheet became criss-crossed with |
| time, you would be far wiser to play the tortoise. | | | | tubes of varying lengths and widths and the blotter |
| But Anna was no turtle. Her mind moved faster than | | | | sat on her desk like a chocolate web. |
| light; she was figuring a way to Bali when we were | | | | It was an early version of blotter art, so distinctive it |
| still stuck in the grade 3 reader; in the fourth grade, | | | | made your hair stand on end. But Sister Mary Michael |
| when those of us with older siblings were all agog | | | | could not quite see that. |
| over Elvis, she could find nothing more passionate | | | | "What on earth are you doing?" she asked, appalled, |
| than Japanese prints. | | | | staring at the blotters on Anna's desk. The girl held |
| I remember Sister Mary Michael, the composition | | | | up her last completed sheet; it was a masterpiece, |
| teacher in grade 4, who told us that writing was an | | | | composed entirely of lines, thick and thin, straight and |
| act of God and that the true writer would find his | | | | wavy radiating from a field of chocolate centers, |
| share of godliness in the holy trinity of pen, paper | | | | such that when you looked at the whole, you could |
| and blotter. Of the three, the blotter was the most | | | | feel a shift in balance, as though you were being |
| indispensable. "Why?" we asked. "Good writing | | | | absorbed into the thick of things. |
| depends on the way you control the ink." There was | | | | "Young lady," said Sister, breaking the silence. "Do |
| much else that needed to be controlled as well, | | | | you think that God intended us to use blotters in this |
| according to Sister Mary Michael. Reading Anna's | | | | fashion?" Anna's face dropped. "Do you think that |
| essay on why she liked chocolates, Sister became | | | | God would have approved of this?" |
| very still and angular. She peered down at the child, | | | | "No," said Anna eventually. |
| her eyes blue and hard above her spectacles. "Too | | | | "Why not ?" |
| many adjectives," she snapped. "Too many words!" | | | | "I don't think he likes chocolates." |
| When Anna looked at her, unmoved, Sister retrieved | | | | Anna left school after grade 6. We did not keep in |
| her pen. The nib drew a fast, thin line over Anna's | | | | touch and I had almost forgotten her until years |
| script; the blotter followed; there came more red | | | | later, when I flipped through a huge and glossy |
| lines, more words slashed away. | | | | "History of Modern Art" and was stopped mid-track |
| I watched Anna after she returned to her desk. She | | | | by Jackson Pollock; there was in his work inescapable |
| began writing, dabbing the blotter after her pen in | | | | shades of Anna's blotter. |
| true Sister Mary Michael fashion. For a while, it | | | | Expressionism--they called it. |
| seemed as though Anna had learnt her lesson. But | | | | Somehow, I felt vindicated. |